


When Gods and Earth Collide

by homosexuwhy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Getting Together, God!Karkat, M/M, Mortal!Dave, Slow Burn, Writing Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosexuwhy/pseuds/homosexuwhy
Summary: Inspired by writing-prompt-s on tumblr"A long time ago, the gods made a bet as to who would be summoned first by a random string of words. Millenia later, out of all the incoherent nonsense that has been spouted in your lifetime, you accidentally summon one. "Dave was trying to write a rap, but it ended up summoning a shouty god who can't figure out how to go back to the astral plane. Little did he know the god would end up liking Earth better than his pantheon.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	When Gods and Earth Collide

_**A long, long time ago…** _

Creating a new world was a slow, tedious process. Even more tedious when you knew your aspect would be one of the last to come. At least that is how Karkat felt. It brought him solace to think the ones to go first would have to wait for him too, until it was all done, and they could begin puppeteering, that is.

First it was Equius, with arguably the most boring job ever. Serves him right. He spent so fucking long using all of his STRENGTH to engineer a vast… nothingness. Afterall, they would need a void in which to place all things. Kanaya spent the next while developing all lifeless matter that would be one day seen, felt, studied. I took forever and made Karkat want to jump off a cliff, honestly. Too bad those had not been formed yet.

All aspects were to take their turns, and it would take eons until their work was done. Sitting on their pantheon was all there was to do, and all they had to consume their time was whatever media they managed to import from their now doomed universe.

Even with the distorted time from non-existence and Aradia’s power, he still felt like there was too much free time. Suffice it to say that, from all of the books and movies and music and other mediums of art available, Karkat had already enjoyed all that he considered acceptable, multiple times over.

As if that weren’t enough, one asshole who will remain unnamed (because Karkat’s lusus didn’t raise a snitch) binged all of the sopor on the first few days and so there would be no chance of hibernating, even a little bit.

They would spend time together, too. On their Pantheon they would feast, talk, brawl on occasion, but it came to a point where it seemed every conversation had been had. The trolls had nothing else to discuss, and so they shifted to abstract topics instead.

One day, it was Feferi who prompted the idea:

“Hey, I know what we should do! Let’s make bets about our future world!” Ever the optimist, her suggestion was spoken as something fun and innocent. The terms were that each of them could create one bet, and everybody would have to pitch in. She bet on the number of marine life forms they would develop. The reward would be that the winner would be able to create any sea creature of their choice and Fef would breathe life into it.

That gave something for all of them to think, or at least the ones that agreed to participate. Gamzee was unable to participate due to sopor coma-related reasons. Aradia was too busy creating time and all of that. The rest were in on the game.

After some profound meditation, Karkat came up with the perfect bet. He solicited that everybody gather at the main hall so he could announce his bet.

“Hey! Motherfuckers! Listen up because my bet will make all of your bets go home crying to their lusi!” Was his powerful opening statement. Well if that didn’t get their attention, he didn’t know what would. “The bet is exactly as follows: You have to come up with the stupidest, most asinine string of words you can thing of. 10 words maximum. And you will write them down on this piece of paper right here, and it will stay here on the hall. If a being from our planet says these words, you will be summoned. The first one summoned wins. But the sentence HAS to be complete and utter bullshit. The winner gets to trap the troll of their choosing for a year on Earth.”

Karkat felt like it was the perfect bet, and he was totally winning the bet game so far. As he pictured, the reaction to his reward made everyone’s eyes light up with interest. Enough time with someone and you will want to trap them on a distant planet for a while.

So, they proceeded with creating a universe, and specially the world within it. It took some time, but Karkat’s turn finally came into play. He had the blood aspect, and for the first time, he knew what his role would be.

He went infused his power into all things. He bonded atoms, he connected tectonic plates, he devised relationships, interactions, connections between all things he could.

Not for a second did Karkat think his part was the most important. After all, there was no such thing. But upon looking at his hard work, he knew he had made a beautiful thing.

**_Not so long ago, pretty recently in fact…_ **

And all that was left to do was perfecting the transition from the footage zooming out to the street with the one taken from Google Earth, zooming out until you could see the planet and… done. No need to fade out the image of the planet, the aggressive cut is cool enough.

Just like that, Dave was done with (yet another) amateur music video for his YouTube rap channel.

Well, not done, precisely. Dave had the video, the beat, but he had no lyrics yet. Writing them had become kind of hard, since his Chem teacher had taken away his notebook with absolutely every draft or concept for raps that he had made this semester. All because he was writing furiously during class instead of paying attention to stoichiometry. Boring ass subject, as his rap would attest.

Theoretically, he could just start to write something new, but being a true procrastinator, he convinced himself he had the perfect concept written down there, he just had to get it back and finish it. Even though he couldn’t quite remember what it was, he knew it was _The One_.

Thankfully, he would have that damned class again in two days, and the teacher had promised him he would return it then, in exchange for his homework. So, Dave had to do it. And by that he meant text a picture of the questions to his friend, Jade, who had an AP Chem class and would probably have fun with it.

Since Dave would still have to learn how to do the damned thing at some point so he would get a passing grade, he set one exercise aside to try to make. Also, if he got it wrong, it would make it all more believable that he had actually done it.

But as has been mentioned, Dave is a procrastinator. So, the homework sheet sat beside him, empty, as he spent the rest of the night playing Mario Kart on an old Nintendo DS. His best friend lived on the same building and they were playing together. He would not let the asshole beat him by overthinking chemistry.

The next day went by fast, classes were just as boring as they normally are, and lunch was as boring too. Fortunately, Jade had agreed to do his homework for him and, much to his surprise, did it all in impressing speed, right in front of him, as if it were nothing.

Imagine if that girl turned all of that wasted potential into throwing some sick rhymes.

She even went so far as to try to replicate Dave’s handwriting. Or at least change her usual into something messier and well… uglier. Dave made sure she knew he was grateful and that he absolutely owed her one, although he can’t remember a single time that Jade asked him for a favor. He might just pay for her the next time they go out to eat or something.

When Dave got home, he unceremoniously threw his stuff on the couch slash brother’s bed and set an alarm to 9 p.m. so he could do his homework that was due tomorrow. The rest of the day was spent watching movies like nothing else mattered.

9 p.m. came, and it only took three snoozes of the alarm for Dave to get up, grunting and complaining, and do the deed. At first it seemed easy enough. One Google search later, Dave was already trying his hand at balancing the equation thingy in front of him. But he just wouldn’t get it right. When he was on the edge of a nervous breakdown about not ever being able to take a test on the subject, a rap finally came to him.

_(Chemistry is shitty imma just do this thing)_

_(Thinkin it can best me well it trippin)_

_I aint gotta formulate_

_No element to modulate_

_Keep your argentum_

_Im the aurum at this rate_

_Yo Chem_

_imma best you the best I can_

_I got a whole crowd and you aint got a single fan_

_So im gonna wreck you distract you im gonna_

_Unbalance you, no stoichin you today_

_Yeah try me_

_I’m gonna make you a man_

_Didn’t mean to give you a gender_

_I’m just aiming for a fender, throw you off center_

_And (tra)_

_My words were so slender that you had to surrender_

_To the power of my rhyme_

_Now who’s making who cry?_

Dave wasn’t like, A billion percent happy with it. Mostly because the words just poured out of him and didn’t land on his usual writing notebook, but instead, a piece of paper he had lying around. Probably another piece of homework he hadn’t turned in. Also, because it felt like there was something missing to it, so Dave did what he usually did. Started to brainstorm out loud to see what sound would fit.

“I ain’t gonna ping pong bitch fuck uh yo mama so dumb she don’t know im the greatest rapper out there god knows his best creation was this beautiful mind aint no element gonna take that away oh dear lord it’s getting worse the cancer is spreading like a ping pong ping ping pong back to you dave oh yeah I got this I’m strider stridin rhymin just out here wildin ping ponging the cancer away like a mad man-”

Now, Dave was well aware that his rapping skills were borderline divine but standing in the middle of his bedroom was a person, I guess one could say, that hadn’t been there before. A person with horns and weird skin and an angry face.

“WHERE THE FUCK AM I? WHO DARE SUMMON ME? MOST OF ALL, TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN THE UGLIEST BEDROOM EVER WHILE I WAS DOING THE GODLIEST AND MOST IMPORTANT OF TASKS ANd as any decent living creature should know I am not to be disturbed when I am watching earth movies…”

The, again, one could call it a person got progressively out of breath, voice becoming lower as they studied their surroundings until their eyes landed on Dave.

“What are you?” They asked.

Dave was already reaching for the sword mounted on his wall, even though he didn’t think it would help with a being that could materialize out of thin air.

“I’m a… uh.” What question even was that? “Dave?”

“You are a Dave.” They replied, eyes narrowing. He suddenly looked up. “OKAY SOLLUX YOU CAN BEAM ME OUT NOW. YOUR FAKE REALITY PRANKS STOPPED BEING FUN A COUPLE OF CENTURIES AGO!” Nothing happened.

Dave just stared at it, sword trembling in hand, and surely his bro would be disappointed by now.

“FINE YOU ASSHAT, I WILL PLAY ALONG.” The being looked at Dave again, like it was the most tiresome thing to do, ever. “So, “Dave”, why am I here?”

Dave honestly had no idea what was going on, he was just rapping, suffering over homework on a normal Wednesday when a shouty alien appeared. But instead of expressing all of that in a calm, rational manner, all he managed was to whisper, “dude what the fuuuck”.

The being let out a sigh, slapped his own forehead with his face. Dave knew it was either a human in the most random makeup ever, or it was some weird life form that looked a lot like a person. The only reason he didn’t believe someone was pranking him (unlike that being) is that Dave saw exactly the moment they appeared. And that was no natural phenomena.

Still with a small voice, Dave tried again. “I was just rapping and then you… then you…” And, for lack of a good word, he made a vague, circular gesture with his hands.

“You want me to believe you were casually… rapping… and somehow that resulted in summoning a God…” As the person spoke, Dave noticed what looked like sudden understanding dawning before his eyes. Followed by happiness.

“I WON! I FUCKING WON! THE PRIZE IS MINE AND ALL THE OTHER FUCKERS CAN ABSOLUTELY SUCK. IT!!!!”

“ookay, once again, what the fuck.” Dave whispered to himself, yet again, but the being seemingly heard it.

“Oh, so I’m a God. You are very welcome by the way. And since you summoned me, I won a bet, so I’m going back now to claim my prize.” With that, they closed their eyes and scrunched their face, as if they were making an effort to focus, but Dave thought it was cute. Honestly, apart from the differences this being looked pretty… young. His age, almost. Yet they were a God.

Dave put his sword back on its mount and gave a step back, to give the God some space. But nothing seemed to happen. After what seemed like long enough, Dave talked again.

“Hey uhm, god person. Are you alright?”

When the God opened their eyes, they stared at Dave like they were trying to burn right through his soul. “NO. I can’t go back. I have no powers in this stupid plane or body or something.”

Okay. Dave was stuck with a divine power in his bedroom. Maybe they could help him with chemistry? Maybe Dave would be brave enough to ask if this god were less… Shouty.

“I can try saying the thing again?” He offered.

“Sure. Why not. The mortal might be able to fix it, great.”

“Just one little problem I uh don’t remember exactly what I was saying like I know it had something to do with chemistry and ping pongs and maybe cancer but it’s all blurred but I can just spew some sick rhymes until I get it again I guess?”

“Please spare me of your “sick rhymes”. I know the sentence.” The God says it in a lower tone, as if was embarrassing to him. “it’s ‘ping ponging the cancer away like a mad man’.”

Dave said it back and… Nothing happened. To break the silence, Dave asked.

“So, god person. Do you have like a name or something? Godly pronouns?”

“Karkat. And what the fuck is a godly pronoun? How do you come up with that stuff? No just use he/him.”

“So, Karkat. Do you know any chemistry?” The God looked so angry, Dave took it back immediately. “Oh, okay, forget I asked. Are you hungry? Can I get you some food? Can you eat?”

As Karkat was about to grumble he does not want shitty human food, his stomach made an ungodly sound. He guesses that is a mortal body anyway. Karkat makes an exasperated look directed at nothing in particular and follows Dave to his bed, where he finds an open pizza box with a couple of slices.

And so, they ate cold pizza. Karkat even mentioned it tasted better in his mortal body than his astral one. Dave had to fight off the urge to ask him questions about it, but he had the feeling that whatever was keeping this dude here would make him stay for quite some time. Maybe later he could ask that stuff. Also why is there war and famine. Or whether hell is real. The simple stuff. For now, he asked something else.

“How old are you?”

“Honestly, I have no clue. When we got to this universe, we were 16. So we went about creating the universe, which took a while. At first, we slept a lot. But then some asshole took all the sopor at once and we couldn’t do that anymore. So Aradia, the one that dealt with time shit, she would distort our perception of time so it felt more bearable. There are centuries that feel like a day to me. So yeah. Old as fuck but also I have no idea.”

“Cool.” Dave said, thinking about what that must be like. If a year or two ago, someone told him he had to create a whole ass universe. He couldn’t even balance out a reaction, imagine balance out every existing thing ever.

Speaking of, Dave decided to let his divine guest wait a little as he watched a YouTube tutorial (Which seemed to do the trick. Why can’t teachers teach like YouTube tutorial people?). He finally finished the exercise and it hadn’t killed him. Just summoned a God to him.

Since Dave couldn’t miss school the next day, he decided to call it a night. It was pretty much midnight anyway. He took a pillow and put a load of blankets on the floor as a makeshift mattress. He didn’t know if Karkat would sleep, but when you have a God over, the least you can do is let him sleep on a real bed.

**Author's Note:**

> hey!  
> thank you for reading! I spent like. A year or two without writing any fanfiction at all and this work just poured out of me this afternoon. I hope you guys enjoy it, and since i'm tired i didn't proofread it really well, so lmk if there are any mistakes tysm  
> also, i should update this fic either daily or every other day, depending on the amount of uni work and writer's block and shit that i have to deal with. But i should let you know each chapter.


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